We’re Different – ‘Solver Revolver’

It is no surprise that I find myself writing about the difference between girls and boys. I have three girls in my life. A girl club has been founded (encouraged by their mother) and I am only on strict invitation with a weekend pass that is void at 12:01 am on Sundays. The only reason the pass exists is because I hold the key to the best pancake recipes and I won’t cook unless I can be in the girl club. It’s complicated!

Sadly for me, no girls in our house want to be in the boy club. When I use child-like manipulation, “right, if I can’t be in the girl club, you can’t be in the boy club!” I get the girl stare down, “I don’t want to be in the boy club, you don’t have any dolls!”  I blurt out, “Yes… but I have tools and boys can fix stuff!” Apparently fixing stuff is lame…. I concede and start preparing the pancake mix…. I feel used!

There are plenty of books out that point the differences out but simply put…I know we are different – books aren’t helpful. The fact that guys think they can understand girls by reading a book is flawed, even if we show good will by reading, girls will claim we are just using our heads again and not our hearts and around the circle we go. So we guys have nowhere to turn and that is the way girls like it.

We boys are useful though, particularly if there is a problem that needs to be resolved. Problem is, girls don’t want their problems resolved! It is a ploy, if they can create enough chaos and confusion in a boys mind, girls will look mysterious and we boys are drawn like moths to a mysterious girl. See the problem we boys have??? Someone needs to stand up and stop the nonsense…. someone other than me, I am still a bit scared…..

When a girl comes to a boy with a problem, girls don’t understand that we don’t like sad girls. Sad is not fun, it is disturbing and confusing!!! So our solution is to make girls happy again by fixing the problem and we want to do it fast so we are not forced to access that sleepy part of our brain that thinks through feelings.

Give me the problem so I can solve it…that’s what I do! Ok…1,2,3 I am listening and focused! Google & I will figure it out and we’ll get back to you with several options. If you let me, all your problems can be figured out with an easy 3-point plan but…. you have to stick with it and not mess me around with the ‘mystery girl’ act!

To point out an obvious difference: ‘Exhibit A’ – the other night my wife and I were sitting in bed and I had stumbled on to a youtube cut showing off a new missile the USA have developed. I hate the idea of war, I mean REALLY hate it but I have a boy gene that awakes when there are lots of flames, explosions, propulsion and ridiculous speeds. I can’t help it! Someone…anyone…. help me! As my boy instinct sucks me towards the youtube video like a girl is to nice shoes, I look over to my wife. She is wiping her tears after watching a youtube video on an amazing kid with cerebral palsy, whose family has helped him be mobile…. Great! Now I feel completely shallow and feel guilty that I wasn’t Googling ‘inspirational stories’ too. Feeling shame, I discretely close my computer and lean over to watch the end of the video she is watching like a good husband would.

So…is there a design flaw in we humans? I doubt it. I love my girls even with all their weirdness. They are weird right? This morning I played dolls until my daughter walked off in frustration that Prince Noodle Head kept fooling around and didn’t want to dance. Oh well…at least I am trying…my girls would say “very trying.”

Even though I don’t understand my girls, I wouldn’t swap them for all the Home Depot gift cards in the world!

Can’t live with ’em, can’t live without ’em.

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